Bibi

Of all the "B" words I know, this one is the one I really don't like. Bibi - spelt a few different ways. Bebe, Bebi, Bibe and even the occasional Beebe. 


You might ask what is a Bibi? According to urban dictionary - it is defined as "Is the epitome of all things feminine and womanhood. Bibi means "mistress," "lady," "beloved," "wife," "queen," "lover" etc etc. 

"She's my beautiful bibi..."

According to the baby name meaning website "Babynology", it is Persian meaning  lady. It seems to be a beautiful name but don't let its innocent facade fool you. 


Americans seem to like it as it is easy to pronounce and it can be a cute name, again that facade thing. I used it when I first started working in Brooklyn as a receptionist in an office, they really liked the name and thought it was cute - I didn't want to introduce them to my middle name. A conundrum of many vowels. Try saying Shaeeza three times fast - not very cute and no it will not open the gateway to the dark side. I promise. I used it during my five years as an aide in the hospital, I got so many compliments on it, it was quite a conversation starter. "Oh you have a cute name Bibi". and "Bibi, you are the bibiest of the Bibi's" and my Ukrainian friends when they call me"Be-bushka".  


As you can tell my first name is Bibi and here's the kicker - so does my sister Farah and my little sister Swafeha. See, losing that innocent face. Three girls in the same family with the same first name. What  a tangled web we weave... But it doesn't stop there. I come from a very large prolific Indian family and we seem to bring forth tons of baby girls (they are still appearing today) and guess what? Most of my cousins have the same first name yes that Bibi - spelt in varying styles. One of my cousins even decided to get even cuter by asking to be called "B. I" How much cuter can you get?
If you check my FB friends list, there are many Bibi's there.  Seventeen at last count and seven are related to me by blood, that doesn't count all the closeted Bibi's who are reluctant to use the name. I don't blame them either. Still think it's an innocent name? 
I started a FB page whose title is "You know your're Guyanese if your first name is Bibi". I haven't checked back there in a while because it is practically terrifying exactly how many have that first name. It just might give me the hibby jibbies. Almost every Guyanese family know someone or many someones named Bibi. Losing that cuteness factor real fast.


When I was in elementary school in Georgetown Guyana, I used the name Bibi.  so did my sisters- we were Bibi S. Khan, Bibi F. Khan and Bibi S. Khan. See how my point is proven? Not innocent.
Then came the day when a new girl entered my class - guess what her name was? Bibi S. Ally. I was delighted (young and foolish), oh here's another girl with my name, oooh maybe we can friends. Maybe we'll become pals, buddies, form a club or something, maybe even solve mysteries (Enid Blyton was a strong influence then on my impressionable life). The teacher trying to be nice said "Oh now we have two Bibi's , Bibi Khan and Bibi Ally". Oh the daggerish looks I got from her were practically designed to take the Bibi out of me! I shrunk back into my shell. Later that day out on the playground, she came over to me and hissed "I'm the only Bibi". I was too shocked to return with "But I was here before you". I thought it , but was too dumbfounded to say it. Innocence where did you go?
So I decided to drop that name, just didn't write it anymore and switched to my middle name - Shaeeza.  I still keep it, you know legal stuff and all that, remember that cuteness factor, even I will admit to being fooled by its innocent facade, but you have no idea how tempted I was to literally drop it when I became a citizen. How many Shaeeza's do you know?

Blogalicious blog tour 2

It's that time again - another delicious Blogalicious blog tour! Thank you for stepping over from Dora's http://peacefrompieces.blogspot.com/

the organizer of this blog hop. Our topic this week is about a book that most influenced us. What a topic! Everyone will have something unique to say, blog, rhyme or say in pics. Some are hosting giveaways, others just need a listening ear and everyone will be a delightful read. Visit, leave comments and follow. When you have sat a while here, hop on over to Mari's http://mariscamera.blogspot.com/ and see what she is up to. Happy blog hopping!

1. Roy - http://royd-spiltmilk.blogspot.com/

2. Sulekha - http://sulekkha.blogspot.com/ 

3. Dora - http://peacefrompieces.blogspot.com/

4. Shaeeza - http://shaeeza.blogspot.com/ 

5. Mari - http://mariscamera.blogspot.com/6. Paula - http://hardlineselfhelp.com/ 

7. Karen - http://karenvwasylowski.blogspot.com/  

8. Keiko - http://hannahweptsarahlaughed.blogspot.com/

9. Catherine - http://catherinestine.blogspot.com/10. Kate & Ashley - http://backofthebookreviews.com/

11. Desiree - http://www.desireeholttellsall.com/

12. Sonia - http://soniarumzi.com/

13. DK Levick - http://dklevick.wordpress.com/

14. Kelley - http://4theluvofwriting.blogspot.com/

15. Tosh - http://totsymae.com/
16. Lucy - http://lifethrulucylasticaslense.blogspot.com/

17. Dora - http://blogaliciousblogs.blogspot.com/

The Book that inspires me the most.

I have read so many books that it is hard to choose the one that inspired me the most, as most if not all has left an impact of some sorts on me and my life. 
But every time I come back to "Little Women". I first read this when I was just ten years old and I have since read and re read many times over. All the versions, the combined one with "Good Wives" and the original that I had bought at a library sale for 25 cents. I wished I kept it, but left it behind when I came to America. 
I loved Marmee and her way with her girls.  I tried to see myself in the girls and as an older daughter, I was Meg. Patient in her love for her family and proud of who they were. 
Now I'm the Marmee and I have four girls. I see my girls in them and I try Marmee's influences when dealing with them in all their dramas, whether petty or not. I try to mirror her wisdom and beliefs . Mariam 21, is Amy, liking nice things and always primping. Sam 20 is Joe who likes a good romp around the world and what I call her"walks abroad", Nazeefah 16 and Dinah 12 are both parts of Meg and Beth combined. They like to be home and make everyone happy like Beth and patient and proud like Meg. They all have varying degrees of girlhood drama and long suffering teenaged angst. Which makes me wonder how would Marmee handle today's girls? So I channel her especially when they try my very last nerve and try to be calm and patient. I've had many a "fess up" time with the girls as I ask straight questions and even though I get the short version sometimes, Marmee helps me see through the gaps and read between the lines.
Although I have not yet achieved Marmeedom I am trying everyday with my "Little Women".

Blogalicious blog tour

Join Me!
Blog-A-Licious Blog Tour

Today we are blog hopping with the Blog-A-Licious Blog Tour, a fantastic blog hop that brings together bloggers of all genres, backgrounds and locations. In today's hop, you hopped over from
 http://royd-spiltmilk.blogspot.com
 stay a while and browse here and then continue the hop over to
 http://annalwalls.blogspot.com/
 do stop by and say hello plus some of us are having giveaways and contests. Sorry all I offer today is a topic post, but please do read, comment and follow if you can. My policy is I follow back! Enjoy!


Book-less World.
The topic for this blog is "World without Books". I can't begin to imagine a world without books. Our civilization started as such - no books. No books doesn't necessarily mean no knowledge or stories, in fact it means creative ways to get your message across. The passing down or on of knowledge is the single most important  duty we have to our civilization. In our future advancements, our writings might be considered primitive in all of its formats - digital or not.

Even if there are no books, there will be story telling, story acting, and story sharing. There might be a sense of community, since people like being together for story telling. At times reading a book can be selfish - just you and a book and your mind's eye. At other times, a joy in sharing - like when my eight year old son shares a funny part of his Tin tin  books with his older sisters. At some times, a favorite part of the day - when my kindergarten class gathers on the carpet every morning for story time. At times, a learning experience, when we sit at a table for a book club. (Now here I've digressed- I am supposed to be writing about a world without books and I prefer to write about books.)

The human mind is an amazing thing. It can supply endless ways of entertaining the body it's connected to. If there are no books, the stories, ideas and thoughts conjured in the mind will be enough to find a way to communicating it to others - hence the primitive paintings found in caves and on hillsides. (I bet they thought those drawings were "state of the art"). The findings of scrolls and other primitive writings found on stones and rocks tell of a desire to be read and to be read to.

Given a choice I would much rather live in a world of books rather than one without.

Keep on hopping.
Thank you for stopping by.

Bones covered with fur

Our family is a cat loving one. When I was a child, there was almost always a cat in our home. My Aja always had cats surrounding him, you will see cats featured in my book The Rice Bag Hammock. We were always taught kindness to animals. My little sister was especially soft where animals were concerned.
My husband and kids are no exception. When he lived in Brooklyn with his mom, he tried to adopt a cat, but had to return it to the shelter because his mom couldn't tolerate it. He was devastated and heartbroken.

Fast forward to eight years ago, we had five kids and felt the need for a cat (new roommates - the horrible nasty creatures - mice). So we traipsed all the way to the North shore animal league in Long Island to adopt our very first- Kitty. you know, I've had five children and not once was I asked to supply three references before I could take a kid home. The nice people there made us wait until they contacted all three references!! Kitty was spoiled and loved, and nurtured. She cleansed our cramped apartment of mice. That summer, our home was ours again.

Now we have 3 cats, Kitty, Kit and Pumpkin. Now kitty is keeping moles and mice at bay in our yard and neighbors'

But what about "bones covered with fur"? you may ask.

It's happening as I write. This past week, my husband sitting out on out deck, noticed a small stray and mentioned it to our first- Mariam. They saw her on and off in the following days.

Two evenings ago, the kids were outside doing something I was paying no mind to. I was to soon find out.
"Mommy come see something"
"Mommy!!"
"you need to be here"
I ignored them. (nobody was bleeding - mothers have an innate sense of when something is wrong with their kids, and this occasion was not one of them or it just could have been from their tone of voice)
Next thing I know, bowls were been filled with food, milk and water and the sounds of
"ohhh, it's so cute"
"It likes Kit"
"Kit is the mother figure"
"It's gray all over"

I started paying mind.
"No more cats!!"
"Three is enough"
"more poop in the litter box"
"Kitty will become even more crazy"
Did I mention that Kitty is very territorial and doesn't like the other two cats we do already have?

Nazeefah comes in.

"Mommy, it just bones covered with fur"
NOW WHY DID SHE JUST SAY THAT?

"Mommy come see"
Again, NOW WHY DID SHE JUST SAY THAT?


I debated, delayed and disputed.

The cat was meowing. More food, milk and water.
I got up to see.
NOW WHY DID I DO THAT?

They were right, the poor scrawny thing was just bones covered with fur. It looked hungry and unloved. Huge green eyes in its shallow face.

Rain was coming and it was now night. Dinah got a box filled with a towel (making sure it wasn't my best one).

We told them to leave it outside and to make sure it doesn't come into the house. We would take it to the shelter if it doesn't leave.

It stayed outside the slider with Kit on the other side watching it all night and the next day. Last night was a thunder storm with hail. Mariam placed the box under the eaves with the coffee table over it, so it could be dry. The poor thing spent the night out again. It meowed all night long.

Come this morning, it's still out there, now wanting to come in. Sorry cat.

Mariam took her to the shelter this morning, but it was closed due to power outage. The woman told her that it was a Russian Blue and that they had no room. Fate you say?

So Mariam give it a flea bath (no fleas) and brought her in. She is the most loving cat I've ever met. She sat on my lap as I checked email. She stayed curled up into a ball and slept as only cats could. She was probably trying to make me feel guilty for not wanting to have anything to do with her.

We told the kids that someone is probably looking for this cat and that they should make flyers and to find out around the neighborhood if anyone's missing a gray cat.

We spent this evening looking up Russian names for cats. Strong contenders are Kiska, Dior, Kitkat and Smudge.( I know not of all of them are Russian)

Bucket kicking

So apparently if you believe and follow a certain preacher man, we will all die tomorrow May 21, 2011 when this world will come to an end!. Yes he really believes that the world will end tomorrow. Many others will totally prepare to die tomorrow. Many others will scoff and turn away from him, and yet many others will watch and wait to see what will really happen.
Which one am I?
I don't even know if I'll wake up in the morning or if I'll live to see tonight. There's a thunder storm outside and anything can happen. That birch tree outside our living room can very well be split asunder and come crashing through the windows and I would have kicked the bucket. Or the pine trees in our backyard could kick their buckets and come tumbling down on our roof or some other such event. I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone, least of all myself and my family. All I know that one thing is certain.
"Live you may, die you must".

That certain preacher man says without a doubt that he will not be here tomorrow to give a follow up interview.
What do you think?
I say let's wait until tomorrow.

Birthday 2

So I did promise to let you know what I got for my birthday. Surprisingly almost all of it.
My kids behaving (well) They actually did
clean kitchen (my kind of clean) I'll take their type of clean after all it's the effort that counts right?
folded laundry ( I can wish can't I?) I folded, but then they were preparing dinner
no long hairs in the sink or bathroom floor ( is that too much?) pretty clean bathroom considering that there are 5 females in the house who have varying degrees of obsession with their long black hair
a foot massage with out asking (ahhh) didn't need one
a leg massage (restless legs are a bummer) got it, it was awesome
breakfast (fiber less cereal or as Nazeefah calls it "petting zoo food for animals") we threw out the petting zoo food for the birds to have, although I have a sneaky feeling , they left it for the bunnies that hop in my backyard when the kitties are not around, Birds are smart
lunch ( not a tuna sandwich) a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
dinner ( grilled salmon sounds great) steak and potatoes yummmmm
quiet (In my dreams!! psst it's not too quiet in there either) quiet for them, if a house filled with 5 kids and 3 cats is quiet then they're all dead or something equally terrifying has happened
my husband walking (maybe next year's birthday) yes I'll leave that for next year's birthday, although in my dreams he is up and walking like nothing ever happened
3 cars that work well (I think we deserve more than just the ability to turn on)We had the van checked and it needs a minor repair and the 4 runner also just needs a hole welded in the exhaust and the elantra just needs AC

Not bad, If I live to be 90, then I'm exactly halfway. Bring on the mid life crisis!!

Bucket List

Many people have a bucket list. There are blogs, whole websites dedicated to bucket lists. There are suggested lists of things to do, eat, drink, places to visit, funny suggestions, real intense - OCD inducing behavior types with daily reminders and motivational updates. Some of them are meant for people whose tax bill is my household's entire combined annual salary (if they pay any taxes at all, which I think is totally unfair, after all don't we all drive and use the same roads, but I'm going off on a tangent and that's a topic for a future post if I can figure out a name for it that begins with a "B")
So back to the bucket list, I made a bucket list in my head last year and was able to figuratively cross out a few. Now this list is not by priority but by how I can pull them from the recess of my brain after all it has been a year, hence the need for a written list.
1. Go to Hajj
2. go on a road trip - we've gone on many and last year was first time I drove most of the way so I'm going o chalk that one up.
3. stand at southernmost part of the USA, thanks to my wonderful family, we did just that.
4. go on a hot air balloon ride- that might happen after I over come my unshakable fear of heights.
5. publish my first book, even though it's only digital at the moment.
6. stand at the most northern part of the USA - continental that is
7. witness the northern lights
8. travel across the USA in our RV and visit all wonders in this country
9. ride a roller coaster, did that , done that, never again, refer to the fear of heights thing
10. vegetate for one day, note:- tried many times, but apparently as a wife and mother you have obligations.
11. stand on the great wall of China
12. ride the ATV by myself and not be a passenger
13. visit the great pyramids
14. lose some weight apparently when you say how many pounds, you don't lose them, you gain them
15. stand on four corners
16. vote - never tried that
17. take the kids back to Guyana for a visit
18. ride an elephant, a camel, a horse, a donkey
19. learn to roller skate I grew up in the eighties, yet it never happened
20. learn to swim apparently fear of heights and water go hand in hand
21. learn to drive stick, a old dog can learn new tricks
22. travel to India to find my peeps
23. travel to China to find my peeps
24. learn to appreciate winter for what it is, a freak of nature
25. eat sushi

There, maybe I'll add to this or maybe not, I don't know how many I'll accomplish or even attempt. What I do know is that I have to work on my "to be done now" list.