belonging

So I kinda think that I belong somewhere. I belong with parents and siblings, being the oldest of 4 often comes with a great sense of belonging. I belong with my husband of 23 years. I belong with my 5 kids who either still love me or question their loyality. I belong with the Muslim community to some extent even though I've encountered more discrimination I'd imagined coming from Muslims. I belong with this school as teacher of my class. I belong even more to the other school and every time I go back there, it's as if we never left NYC.

I belong with Guyana although you'd probably have to pay me many, many millions of dollars to go back there to live. I belong with the migrants who came to America with a dollar and a dream. I belong with America the day I raised my hand and pledged allegiance to this country.

I belong with all the aides and CNA's and PCA's that make nurses' jobs a touch easier and less hectic since we are the grunts of the floor.

Yes, I have a great sense of belonging.

But will they let me belong?

being

So this is the umpteeth time, I'm starting a blog. I don't know where this is going to get me, but it's  a start. Like the corny saying "A journey begins with the first step" and I don't even know if I got that quote right. So I've decided to start a blog as always late as ever, way long after people have been making money from this, and may I ask "how do they do that?"

So here I am trying to hone my writing skills that I've probably left behind for about 20 some odd years and trying to get my thoughts down in some sort of adult manner having lost all my vocabulary skills and use of really big words. I can't believe my reading and math skills are far below grade 5. I'd probably become semi famous for oh, about 1 second for having a 5th. grader beat me on some game show!!

I guess to be able to write in a manner becoming to me, I should be reading books geared for my age group which is now 40- 50 year olds. Talk about boring, political, weather channel, CNN watching reading. But I'm just not that person. I don't like CNN, the weather channel, I don't watch the news, except entainment tonight, I am not interested in which mortage company makes what money, which stock is going up (even though secretly I wish I was an investor since I kinda like to have loads of money). I  am not even interested in fashion, house and home, gardening or any kind of self help. I'm probably the world's worse motivator, actually strike that, I can motivate people or rather kids I  think.

People seem to think that I help them put things in perspective and I do to some extent, but who's there to put things in perspective for me? The three cats  and five kids that are ready to eat me out of house and home??!!!

My five kids and 1 husband are the underlining reason for this blog.

I NEED TO VENT SOMETIMES.