Monday, August 15, 2011


Love, affection, cherish, devotion, adore, fervor, enchantment, soft spot, tenderness, fondness, piety, worship, rapture, courtship ..........

Love is a common thread in everyone's lives. How can we live without it? Do we want to live with out it? Should we live without it?

Some people live their entire lives surrounded by love.
Some others live their entire lives searching for love.
Some search for it in all the wrong places.
Some people even have love enter their lives when they least expect it.
Some people live their lives without even an inkling of what love is.
Some people focus on their love of  a deity rather than for humanity
Some have found a balance of love in their lives.

We all want love whether it's the blush of young love, the love of parent for child, the love between spouses, the love for God, the love for nature, the love for money, the love for knowledge. We all want it in vary degrees.

I have been reading recently about true love, first true love. Many people have experienced it, many have continued in their love, many have lost it and many are rekindling it.
What makes your first true love so special?
What makes it endure through out the years?
What makes it so unattainable for some?
Why does it bring the heart ache, the happiness, the contentment, the turmoil, the never ending euphoria?

True love, mostly first true happens to many people in a young age, when they are forming connections similar to the same connections as a baby with a mother. First true love is beautiful in itself and many people are reconnecting.

Boston Globe interviewer, Carey Goldberg "notes some research indicates that a teenager may attach specifically to a first lover in much the same way as a baby attaches to a mother. "

"This hypothesis was given by Dr. Linda Waud, a Psychologist who wrote her dissertation on three reunited couples.
“There is an actual neurological attachment that happens between these individuals,” she said, “and that’s why it’s enduring and it never leaves your mind. It’s there forever and ever.” Interestingly, Dr. Waud herself reconnected with a long-lost love after 35 years apart." from Shrink talk -

As of 2003, Dr. Nancy Kalish had studied over 2,000 “lost love” relationships.
Dr. Kalish brings up a very interesting point: “therapists tend to underestimate the powerful nature of such old loves, especially first loves. As a result, they tend to tell such patients that their feelings for their re-found loves are based on fantasy and that they can find the same feelings in their own marriages if they only try. But that fails to take into account that reunited lovers really do know and love each other, and a first love, in particular, remains unique. This is not about sex, it is not about the spouse or the marriage, it is not a midlife crisis,” she said. “The reunion is a continuation of a love that was interrupted.”

Why my interest in love and first loves? Simple, I am a witness to it. Many young people I know are embracing the way they feel and going after their first true loves. I say hold on to it and never let go. Once you recognize what you have, Never, ever let go.


  1. So very well said... I'm not sure about first love where I'm concerned though. I never even had crushes... there were just girls that I thought were cute.

    I think because I never actually had a relationship until I was in my 20's had something to do with it. I never had that early "neurological attachment" at all... though I think I've seen it in other couples.

  2. that neurological attachment is amazing, i bet tons of girls had crushes on you though. :)


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  4. Well said, Shaeeza! Great blog post. BTW, I love your new profile pic!
    Have a blessed weekend!